百合 Goggles

Yukirin Is Love. Yuri Is Life!

Fic – Natsuyuki [Yukirin/Natsu]

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Oh come now guys! Surely you did not think I would pass up this chance after seeing THIS POST!!!!

I of course went to work straight away! I haven’t even seen the video yet but Lord help me if I wasn’t so whipped at first sight! Now, as said, I haven’t seen the actual video yet so this is obviously not what exactly goes down. It has some elements to it but mostly the fangirl in me was just dreaming so…

And I still need a beta please. Nothing fancy, just checking simple errors like using the word ‘wood’ instead of ‘would’, etc.

Any way, I hope you likey ^^



Black Gekikara

An AKB48/HKT48 Kashiwagi Yuki and Matsuoka Natsumi Fan Fic

Takes place on the final night of the Budokan Concert when Natsumi falls ill just before their ‘Ame no Pianist’ performance.


Kashiwagi Yuki had never felt as less enthusiastic about performing as she did right then. She wished terribly for a way to postpone their turn but that was impossible! An event of that scale couldn’t be tempered with after all the time it took to organise to skip just one song! Other girls, girls much more valuable, had been worse off and they were not given a pardon. If even girls like Yuko-san or even Maeda-san herself could not be excused, there was no way that it would happen now.

“Do you need something Natsumi-chan? Here, sit down for a bit.”

With the help of the other member to bring out the trio for their unit, Moriyasu Madoka – also a member of sister group HKT48, the two helped Natsumi down so she could rest on the nearby bench. The girl looked really bad to Yukirin that she just wanted to shout at the nearby stuff to call an ambulance and take her to the darn hospital! But she knew they were not at fault so she settled for a conspicuous glare in their direction instead.

“Here Natsu, try to drink some water.”

Yukirin had Natsumi’s arm in hers and she gave it a quick massage as she watched Madoka lift the disposable cup of water to the girl’s shaking lips. Only a small sip and the girl seemed ready to throw up. Madoka hastily pulled the cup back as if its mere presence would set the girl off. Other than her insides growing more worried about the girl, Yukirin did not react as strongly but instead shifted one of her hands to Natsu’s back which she gave slow, calming rubs between her shoulder blades to try and ease her nausea. Natsumi brought her hand up to cover her mouth and Yukirin knew she was doing her very best to hold everything in. The effort was evident on her sickly and strained features. That did it!

“Don’t you have any pain killers for her?!”

She turned to the stuff member that was right next to her left. She tried real hard to keep the displeasure out of her tone. You would think that with an event like this and from a lot of previous experiences, they would be damn ready for anything! Where were the medical stuff anyhow?!

“Michi-um…someone went to get a medical stuff.” The woman fidgeted in place. Yukirin guessed she hadn’t quite succeeded in her endeavour of keeping her irritation out of her features as well as her voice. “They should be here soon…” The woman trailed off, obviously un-comfortable at the attention and the gaze piercing her very soul.

“Thanks. Tell them to come find us in the women’s rest rooms.”

Waiting for medicine that wouldn’t even be immediately effective would only be worse for the girl. Having experienced it once, Yukirin knew that sometimes throwing up relieved the imbalance in the system and if Natsumi-chan was heading in that direction, it was the most preferable route to take.

“Sorry Natsumi-chan, getting there might be very un-comfortable but you need to relieve your digestive system of whatever is making you sick. Would you like to try that or wait for the pain killers?”

The girl finally made eye-contact with Yukirin after so long that she was taken aback by the falling tears in the deep brown eyes. Yuki felt such strong emotions of protectiveness course through her entire being that she was left momentarily frozen at the spot. She was brought back to her senses when Natsumi tried to speak and at the same time tried to keep whatever wanted to come out at bay.

“What-What about t-the performance…?”

Even speaking a single sentence felt like such a burden on the girl. Yukirin wept for her internally.

“Don’t worry about it. We have three songs to go. We will be back in time.”

It took her some time and Yukirin saw her trying to weight everything in her already occupied mind before she slowly nodded – only to squeeze her eyes shut right after from the un-pleasant feedback she got from that! Yukirin stopped her hand’s motions only to place it fully around and under Natsumi’s arm-pits to help her up as gently as she could. Madoka quickly stood up to help as well but Yukirin turned to her.

“It’s okay Madoka-chan. You stay here in case something happens that we need to know about, okay?”


Yukirin could see her reluctance but she also knew her junior would do as she had asked. She also did not think Natsumi-chan would want to have two people watching her as she emptied her stomach. Well, not that one person was okay but Yukirin was not about to let the girl out of her sights. She knew very well too how the task seemed to suck the energy right out a person. What if the girl collapsed while by herself with how weak she was already feeling?!

It did not take them long before they made it to the nearest bathrooms. With how big the Budokan Dome was, there were many rest rooms around the place, which Yukirin was very much thankful for. With one hand still holding Natsumi, Yuukirin pushed the handless door open and lead the two of them inside. A quick survey of the room with her eyes and ears, Yukirin was thankful to find it vacated. She chose out the middle stall and led the girl towards and inside it.

“We are here Natsumi-chan…”

Yukirin spoke as softly to the girls as she could, afraid that a mere raise of her voice would make her worse. Natsumi had had her eyes closed and at some point along the way to the bathrooms, she had rested her head on Yukirin’s shoulder. Yukirin hadn’t even noticed. At the notice, the burning head left Yukirin’s shoulder as Yukirin helped Natsumi to her knees in front of the toilet. When she was sure the girl wouldn’t fall over, Yukirin flushed the toilet once before turning to lock the stall door.

As if the sound of the lock was a signal, Yukirin turned around quickly when Natsumi retched violently. Just as quick, she reached forward with both hands to take a hold of Natsumi’s twin tails and pull them back and away from the line of fire. It had been too late though as the girl hadn’t tried to even shield herself at all. Not that she could as both of her hands were had crushing grips on the westernised toilet seat.

How Yukirin wished she could do more for the girl as she heard the unpleasantness of it all. Natsumi tried to sob in between excretes but she would always be stopped even before she had taken a full breath of much needed air before her stomach pumped again. In retrospect, this was partly her fault. If she had been more persistent during rehearsals, perhaps Natsumi-chan wouldn’t have gotten so bad.

Having been more focused on the other girls’ body movements so she could give them a few pointers, Yukirin hadn’t noticed how pale and strained Natsumi-chan’s face had look until they were half-way through the set time. She had wondered about the girl but she had assured her that she was fine. Not wanting to push her, Yukirin had let it go and now that careless decision had come back to bit her.

Natsu leaning her head in the crook of her neck brought Yukirin out of her self-blame world. Reaching over to grab a few pieces of toilet paper from the roll on the wall, Yukirin proceeded gently clean the girl’s mouth and chin. It was not an easy task, what with the way she had to bend to see what she was doing as well as trying not to disturb the resting girl who was trying hard to bring her breathing back to normal. But a minute or two is all it took for her to complete the task. Discarding the waste into the toilet, Yukirin reached over and flushed the toilet. She waited until the girl’s breathing slowed down before speaking.

“How are you feeling? Any better?”

She spoke softly as if she was afraid a certain decibel above could hurt Natsumi-chan. The girl lifted her head from the where it had been resting in the process leaving a tingling sensation when her threads of hair teased Yukirin’s throat. She turned to look straight into Yukirin’s eyes and Yuki was very relieved to see that she looked better, much better than before. She had been right.

“I am feeling very much better Kashiwagi-san, thank you.”

“Don’t mention it. It was really-what’s wrong?!”

Natsumi’s features had suddenly turned gloomy and she looked ready to cry.

“I am so sorry for the trouble I’ve caused you. I…”


Natsu instantly froze at the commanding tone with which Yukirin spoke. And as soon as it had appeared, Yukirin’s hard features turned soft again accompanied with a calming smile before raising her left hand to softly caress cheek.

“You have nothing to apologise for. First of all nobody can choose whether to get ill or not and secondary, we can still perform.” She paused as she turned serious once again. “Unless you are still not feeling well enough.”

“No, I am feeling much better. I promise!”

“Are you sure? I understand feeling responsible but you have to take care of yourself and pushing your body only to give a bad performance will not benefit anybody, least of all yourself!”

Yukirin felt a bit preachy and bad after she had said that but it needed to be said. It would be on her as the senpai if they either give a bad performance or Natsumi-chan breaks her body.

“I am okay to perform Kashiwagi-san. I promise.”

Yukirin watched her carefully for a couple of seconds before sighing resignedly.

“Okay, fine. But right after we are done you are going for a check-up, got that?”

“Yes Kashiwagi-san!”

“Good, now let’s clean you up and get back. We are almost on.”

And with that Yukirin helped the girl to her feel and they both headed for the sinks to clean up. Despite feeling much better and very capable of washing herself, Yukirin took it upon herself to sanitize Natsu. Not wanting to displease her senpai, Natsumi-chan just stood motionless and let herself be washed like a child. Not like she could even if she wanted to. Her senior’s wet fingers ghosting over her skin and lips left numbing effects in their wake. Natsu was not sure how that really worked seeing as she had never felt more sensitive to touch.

“All done. Just rinse your mouth and we can get back, okay?”

The younger girl could say no more as she did not trust her mouth to work at the moment so she instead nodded and bent over to do as instructed. Yukirin pulled out the saved paper and when Natsu stood up straight again when she was done, her skin was once again subjected to the unknown yet very welcoming sensations as a result of Yukirin drying her face.

“We don’t have time for the dressing room but you should be fine. I doubt anyone will notice you under that lighting. Ah, not that you look bad. You actually look pretty good without make-up.”

Yukirin tried to reassure the girl when she saw her checking herself in the mirror after she had finished drying her face. She gave her a once over and took a moment to straighten out a few creases she say in the girl’s uniformly dress.

“You ready?”


The two left the bathrooms to head back to the waiting place for their turn. As they quietly walked on, this time separately as Yukirin did not think that the girl needed any more glass-like handling, Natsu let her gratitude be known once more.

“Thank you very much for your help Kashiwagi-san. I an so-…Thank you.”

Another sharp look from the older girl forced Natsumi to re-think another apology. Yukirin took the girl’s hand in her own and gave it a squeeze. She did not say anything but the melting smile she gave Natsu was enough of an answer to her. Nothing more was said as they walked back to a worried Madoka. She instantly ran over to the two when they were within a few feet and Yukirin let their fingers separate as she stepped a bit back to let the two friends have their moment.

“Are you feeling better?”

Madoka asked her fellow HKT member and close friend worriedly as she pulled back from the hug but not letting go, to give the shorter girl a once over. Natsumi smiled and was getting ready to answer her friend but did not get the chance because they got interrupted by the medical stuff.

“Excuse me, I’m Doctor Watanabe. And you must be Matsuoka-san?”


“Okay, Matsuoka-san, I am just going to take a few tests now but I will need to see you afterwards before the day is over. Now then, I need you to follow this light with your eyes for me, okay?”


The man who looked to be in his early fifties pulled out a pen from his familiar white coat’s pocket and pressed it to produce a source of light. He pointed it at Natsu’s left eye then slowly moved it to and fro all directions. Natsu of course did as she had been instructed.

“Hm…Now I need you to stick out your tongue for me, okay?”

As indifferent as expected of an aged Doctor, Watanabe-sensei turned off the pen-torch and returned it to its holding place before reaching over to open a back that rested at his side. He pulled out a device that Yukirin was not familiar with. She watched on as the Doctor placed the device on Natsu’s tongue then slowly dragged it over the surface. He pulled out another techy device and used it in conjunction with the first device. Once again, he gave the same reaction as before.


“How is she doctor?”

Yukirin almost jumped when she heard the voice that had spoken. It was Togasaki-san, their kind of general manager. When had he appeared?!

“Well, her symptoms seem to point towards a worse condition but…Her appearance suggests otherwise.”

“What exactly do you mean Doctor?”

Togasaki-san probably sounded very worried for his girls but Yukirin would bet he was more interested knowing if she was fit to perform or not.

“Let’s just say that if she actually has what I think she does, she wouldn’t be looking this good.”

He then turned back to Natsu.

“If I may ask, did you do or take something?”

Natsumi spared a quick glance in Yukirin’s direction before she answered.

“Um…yes, I just…vomited.”

“Ah yes, that always does the trick if the decision is made at the right time when it comes to food poisoning.”

“Food poisoning? But from what I was told, she has been feeling ill for a day or so!”

Yukirin wondered how their manager knew that. Better yet, why did he not do something about it if he had known!? Yukirin felt a bit of anger towards the man in charge of all of them but then she squandered it down. Who was she to be mad when she was basically in the same boat as him? She had done nothing as well and Togasaki-san had more things to worry about.

“Food poisoning is rarely effective immediately. It’s early symptoms are also extremely misleading because they are similar to those of other diseases.”

Yukirin wondered what the girl had eaten to give her poisoning. it was most unlikely to be among the food they served at the dome otherwise there should have been more than one victim. It had to be an outside source. Probably explained why Togasaki-san was so calm about the problem.

“So then, what should we do?”

“Purging of the stomach’s content and thus the source of the poisoning is only a temporary relief. By now the infection is not only concentrated in her stomach. She will need medicine and some scans but I need more detailed information before I can diagnose her. I do not have the equipment with me now for that so she will have to come over to the clinic. Though I have a feeling right now is not an option?”

Yukirin was sure the Doctor had taken care of many an Idol to know what to say. That did not stop him from making that sentence open to suggestion if Togasaki-san changed his mind and finally thought of the girl’s health first.

“Are you well enough to perform for a couple of minutes Matsuoka-san?”

Of course he would do that! he would make it seem like the decision was up to Natsumi-chan. Yukirin of course knew the answer before even the girl got to speak.

“I am able Togasaki-san.”

“I wouldn’t recommend her exerting herself right now. Vigorous movement will very likely cause her sharp nausea.”

The Doctor tried to put in his two cents, if only for one more time.

“You shouldn’t push yourself Matsuoka-san. Do not worry! You won’t be victimized if you don’t perform.”

Maybe Togasaki-san was actually worried about the girl! Yukirin took that truth with a grain of salt.

“Please Togasaki-san, I wish to…I want to perform this song. I promise I am feeling well enough to do my best. Please…”

Silence settle around the group as they awaited their manager’s decision. Yukirin really hoped he would let her. The girl had really worked hard during practice, even sacrificing her health. This performance probably meant a lot to he. If he took that away from her…

“Okay, but this will be your last performance for the day. And you will be going to the clinic soon after.”

The girl literally beamed and looked ready to tackle their manager to the ground in a big, well, not so big warm hug. Thankfully she held herself back and settled for just giving a smile so big it made her look like the healthiest girl around instead of one ill with food poisoning.

She actually looked quite…beautiful.

“Thank you very much Togasaki-san, Sensei.”

“Don’t mention it. Now, be ready, you are almost up.”

And with that, the Doctor and their manager left and Yukirin and Madoka went over to join Natsu. She looked worried to Yukirin and she figured that the last couple of hours probably did a number on her confidence to pull off a good performance. Yukirin placed her arms around the girl’s shoulders who was staring to the ground with uncertainty.

“You will be okay Matsuoka-san. You are going to do just fine.”

She said to the girl as she tightened her arms around the girl’s shoulders and pulled her close for a comforting and supportive hug. Yukirin’s senses were assaulted with the lavender scent of the girl’s shampoo as she once again nuzzled into the crook of her neck and rested her head on Yukrin’s shoulder like she had done quite a few times already that day. Not that Yukirin minded that at all. She wasn’t one of the most physical people but she appreciated affection just as much.

“You are up!”

The organiser right next to them announced as he pulled back the curtains for them to go through towards their stage. Yukirin pulled back but kept her hands on Natsumi’s shoulders to get the girl’s attention. When their eyes met, Yukirin nodded to her and finally let go to walk forward towards the stage first.

It was kind of dark as the lights in their part of the stadium were turned off so as to keep their identity and presence away from the main stage where Oshima Team K was just wrapping up with the final chorus of UZA. When they made it to where they were to sing, the three took their positions with Yukirin in the centre, Natsu to her left and Madoka to her right. Knowing that they were nervous just like her, Yukirin took each of their hands and gave them an encouraging squeeze. The crowd cheered as the other unit finished up and Yukirin took that as queue to let go and the three took their pose for the opening act. Soon after, the stage lights were turned to them and off they went with SKE48’s ‘Ame no Pianist’.


“Is that Yukirin-san?”

“What is Yukirin-san doing here?”

Yuki ignored the whispers of the HKT girls that came and went from the HKT48 changing area. She was standing just outside the door leading to said room as she waited for Natsumi to get changed. She knew they had a point to be baffled because there really was no reason for her to be there. But she had the time, almost fifteen minutes before she was to go again when Team B does Flying Get.

If she was truthful though, Yuki was still worried about the sick girl and the performance hadn’t helped her condition at all from what she had seen when they left the stage. Other than being a bit slow in some parts that required the three of them to do the same thing, Natsumi had done a good job despite the condition she was in. So Yukirin was of course worried. She would breathe easier when she was sure that the girl was away and safe with the doctors to be looked after.

“Oh, good evening Kashiwagi-san!”

Yukirin turned to regard the girl that had called to her. Strangely enough, she hadn’t met her at all be it during the day concert or the night that they were in the middle of. She really had to make an effort at getting closer to the girl. After all, they were the only ones in a group of over 200 girls that were from the same town, let alone the same prefecture.

“Hello Sakura-chan. And how many times do I have to tell you not to call me that? You make it feel like we just got introduced or something!”


For some reason the girl just blushed as she looked down to her feet. She was just so adorable!

“Come here you…”

Yukirin pulled her into a hug and held her for a couple of seconds before she let her go.

“So, how is the evening going for you?”

“Well, less busy than I had originally thought. I have only done three songs so far.”

“Hey now! That’s more than I have done! Only two for me!”

The girl’s eyes widened in horror as if she had just broken the strictest of rules.

“Oh! I am so sorry. I didn’t mean to-”

*tch tch tch*

Yukirin shook her head in mock disappointment.

“Really Sakura-chan, you are always so serious. You need to relax more.”

“I am sorry…A-Any way, are you looking for some-thing?”

Sakura made a haste change of subject before she got scolded for her disregard of her favourite senior’s words. Really, what was she expecting Sakura to be like around her? She couldn’t help the nervousness and anxiety that always assaulted her when in her presence.

“Ah yes, I believe you know of Matsuoka-chan’s condition?”

“Yes, she wasn’t feeling very well but I don’t know the details.”

“Well, she had a bit of food poisoning but it’s not as bad as it was before. She has to go to the clinic now though, which is why I am waiting for her to change.”

“You are going with her?”

“What!? No! I am just going to walk her to the parking area. She is still not well enough to be left alone.”

Well, that sounded pretty defensive! Yuki didn’t even know why she suddenly felt uncomfortable. She was really glad when the girl dropped it but it was clear in her face that she had doubts. Doubts about what? Yukirin did not even know.

“Okay. Well, I have to go prepare for the next song so…I will be seeing you again?”

Yukirin would have to make sure to see the girl in person again before the night was over.

“Sure thing Sakura-chan!”

She watched as the girl moved passed her, lightly bumping into her sides in the process and disappearing behind the doors just like the others. Yukirin’s gaze stayed locked onto the marked wooden barrier momentarily before it opened again and this time, Natsu walked out.

“Sorry to keep you waiting Kashiwagi-san.”

As soon as she appeared, Yukirin’s eyes instantly fell down to Natsumi-chan’s legs. Really, she couldn’t help it. She had thought that girl had forgotten her pants or something. She let out a sigh of relief when she saw that there was a pair of short shorts under the short dress that seemed more like a blouse.

“Um…Is something wrong?”

Yukirin snapped her head up and away from where her eyes had been fixated. She was proud of herself when she didn’t sound as embarrassed as she felt for having been caught staring, and in the most inappropriate of places.

“Oh yes, sorry. Let’s go.”

The two walked on towards the elevator where Natsu’s manager was waiting. They did not say anything for a while despite Yukirin feeling like she should say something. Natsu was no better off either. Each made themselves busy by watching the hordes of girls going to and fro all around them. When they rounded a corner towards the elevators, it got quieter as there were little to no people going that way. It was the way seeing as it was the way to the exit.

“I wish I could come with you.”

Yukirin felt bad for not being there for the girl more. She still felt responsible for letting the girl get that sick when she could have saved her the pain had she cared more during the rehearsals.

“It’s alright Kashiwagi-san, you don’t need to.”

“But I want to!”

“I will be fine. I am better now than I was just minutes ago.”

Natsu did not want to burden her Senpai anymore than she had already done. She was feeling better after emptying her stomach but the dancing had disturbed the calmness her system had managed to acquire with the help of Kashiwagi-san. Though it wasn’t as bad, she really wished to just lie down hopefully, fall asleep so she could forget about the nauseating unbalance she felt all over. She was also feeling a headache coming on.

“Oh…But I will come over to the clinic as soon as the concert finishes. You are going to spend the night there, right?”

Natsumi stopped in her tracks. They were just a few feet away from the elevator and Natsumi’s manager. She watched them with hawk-like eyes but the girls were used to that so they gave her the same attention they always do others – ignore!

“What’s wrong?”

Yukirin watched worriedly as the girl turned with glistening eyes and trembling lips. She was going to start crying!

“What is it? Did I say something wrong?”

Yukirin was beginning to panic as well as the manager who had started to make her way towards them. The younger girl just shook her head though as tears fell freely. She looked up at Yukirin un-seeing as trails of water cascaded down her healthy cheeks.

“I am sorry for ru-ruining your day! I even messed…*sniff*…messed up in our performance. And yet…And yet you-you’re still taking care of me. I am…I am sorry.”

Yukirin instantly wrapped her arms around the girl and enclosed her in a warm embrace. She held her tight enough for even herself to feel un-comfortable but she did not care. She instead raised one hand and stroked the girl’s head as she whispered calming words to her. The wet trails down her neck, collar bone and all the way under her chest was not given mind. It took sometime but the girl finally calmed down enough for Yukirin to speak.

“I already told you, there is nothing to apologise for. And of course I would help you, why wouldn’t I?”

She pushed gently on Natsu’s shoulders so she could see her face.

“Unless of course I am a burden and would prefer someone else’s company?”

Yukirin put on a fake hurt expression and forced herself to look close to tears. It worked of course when she saw the girl’s red eyes widen in shock and vigorously shake her head.

“NO! That’s not it, I …”

Natsu squeezed her eyes when her nervous system reminded her that she was carrying a migraine. The pain was instant and sharp that she almost cried out.

“Hey, you okay?”

“Sorry, it’s just a little headache.”

“You have a headache now too?! You better get going before you catch something else. Hurry…”

She let go of the girl and with one hand on Natsu’s back, she pushed her forward towards the impatient Manager. As soon as she was out of Yukirin’s reach though, Natsu stopped once again. She turned around and within two quick steps, she was standing right in the spot she had been in no seconds ago – right in front of Yukirin.


Yukirin was stopped short when Natsu leaned up to place a gentle touch of soft lips on Yukirin’s left cheek. She held the contact for a few seconds before pulling away but staying close enough to whisper into Yukirin’s ear.

“Thank you very much for taking care of me Kashiwagi-san. I am very lucky it was you.”

And with that, Matsuoka Natsumi turned around and without another word and a face ready to blow, she matched towards the elevator. Her manager turned back to Yukirin. She gave her a smile and a bow before turning around to follow her charge.

Yukirin stayed there, staring off towards the closed double doors of the elevator un-seeing, pondering. After what felt like an eternity, she raised a hand to touch the still sensitive part of her cheek. With a smile, she turned around and disappeared back towards the AKB group changing rooms.



………………Thank you!……………

Author: Black Gekikara

Love, Eat and sleep Yuri Hail Yukirin, Batman and Zack Snyder Long Live Horror

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