You perfect movie you! Pure kino!

I have figured out now that when you see a movie with A-list actors doing cameo roles, then you are in for one wild ride! Drive Away Dolls is no different! As a movie, it’s so re-watchable.

But I know most of us are not here for just the movie! We are here for a particular set of features, and I feel you! Well, fear not, you are covered! Otherwise, I would not be talking about it! The fact that I am talking about it should have some people curious as well. Well, I am here to see about that curiosity!

 
 
 

 
 
 

First off, the main selling points are the leads themselves! I mean, Margaret Qualley?!!! Hello babe, we missed you! It’s been 84 years since we last saw you over here in our community when you played a thirsty Nun in NOVITIATE! But we gamer types also saw you in a triple A game DEATH STRANDING just before the big C took over the world!

She is a staple and I have been dying to see her back! There is not a better way that she could have than this role too! Talk about un-hinged! She plays Jamie, an unrestrained lesbian out to make out with anything female that moves! She is a storm, that woman!

Opposite her, we have a newcomer, anyway, I have never seen her before, Geraldine Viswanathan who plays a conservative Marian, you know, the kind that think sex is sacred and should only be done with life-long partners with feelings involved!

I am sure you can imagine the situation when these two share a home!

When the movie begins, they have only lived together for a brief period as Jamie’s girlfriend booted her out of their apartment, Sukie – a character played by the known Beanie Feldstein, who gave us a funny scene as expected, when Jamie and Marian went over to grab the rest of Jamie’s things from there.

You know, while I had an ache for Marian and Jamie happening from the trailers, when I found out that they were just friends as the movie started and that Jamie was seeing the cop, I was not so disappointed. I resigned a bit to Marian and Jamie not happening. I blame CRUSH and crushing my hopes and dreams about going out of the ordinary and giving me what I want in ships.

I could not help getting my hopes up slowly but surely as the movie progressed and I am happy to say that those hopes were met and more! But first I have to say that I so love the personalities of every character! God, even the bad guys were so lovable! The movie is funny too but in a ‘I should not be laughing’ kind of way. I believe they call that dark comedy or something.

Marian is a straight man, or woman in this case while Jamie is the Joker. She’s spontaneous, has a very active libido, all around Texican! She says what she thinks, fucks what she sees that has boobs but very kind-hearted as well. Meanwhile Marian is the by-the-book kind of person, quiet, straight to the point, very dedicated to tradition but not in a super religious way.

So, when her behaviour changes, it comes as a surprise to both us and Jamie and damn, those moments were delicious, as they gave us more clues as to what she is feeling! The first outburst came when they visited a bar and Jamie was so adamant about getting Marian laid but Marian was not feeling it, so she left.

Later in the night Jamie comes back to their motel room with another woman, who inquires if they were about to have a threesome. Marian shoots the idea down so far. I was disappointed. Yes, I know I rage about threesomes all the time (I really hate threesomes) but in this case I was ready to accept it if it would shake Marian a bit.

Well, she did get shook a bit the next day as they were continuing onto their journey to Marian’s hometown. The journey starts out in awkward silence. It is broken by Jamie apologizing and then Marian going off on her about bringing someone into their room without warning her.

That was the very sign that Marian was hiding something. I mean, sure it was a dick move for Jamie to bring a lay to their room, but you left the room anyway so why all the raging? Unless…

Unless indeed!

Look, it was all in my head up to this point, just praying for that miracle to happen where Jamie and Marian, or more specifically Marian, has some hidden feelings for Jamie! Unfortunately, the story so far had not hinted at anything beyond friendship! Not that Marian’s aloofness helped any!

The moment that Marian flipped on Jamie after she brought a girl over to their motel room was like a lighting bulb going off in my brain! That was it! That was all I needed! It didn’t matter what would come after, the fact that we got jealous Marian would have been enough for me!

But apparently, I was too pessimistic even with that because this movie, this damn movie just said hold my gays and went all out! Because what followed from that jealousy fit was what we peeps call the defining moment! The moment of no return! The scene goes like this…

Two girls walk into a restaurant. There is a women football team in the restaurant! The team invites the two girls to their basement after party!

Yeah….

Look, this movie was already perfect from the get-go with the absolute banger cameos, heads rolling during the opening scene and a dildo being nailed on the wall scene but having a basement make out party with a lesbian football team then add on the sugar that is Margaret and like…

Is this real life or is it just fantasy!!!

They were literally doing the one ring to rule them all, the Russian roulette, the circle of destiny, ah whatever you wanna call it, it was a bunch of hot female football lesbians making out in a circle, a circle that rotated right every few minutes and by that I mean that everyone was kissing everyone!

My life has been a lie!

Back on track, our girls Jamie and Marian are of course involved and guess who the needle stops on once we spin the wheel of destiny right? You guessed it, Marianne finally meets Jamie and this being a yes game, Marian’s pleas of them being just friends fell on rolling eyes.

Meanwhile, Jamie was like a kid awaiting her present on Christmas because the girl was so ready for this! Then again as we are all well aware, she is a sex machine on two legs so of course she does not mind at all making out with Marian! All she thinks of is having fun and really, they are only friends so what’s the harm in a bit of fun!

Well, tell that to Marian because after a few smooches, her heart finally caught up with her and she all but bolted out of door, after displaying a very interesting expression and leaving behind an equally confused but intrigued Jamie!

Yeah, if Marian had any doubts about her feelings for Jamie, they all but evaporated right there and then!

But before we go any further, I have a confession to make!

I judged the book by it’s cover in the beginning when I was watching the trailers for this movie! A part of me was convinced that there was no way that Marian and Jamie would ever end up together and this was because of Marian and my dated misconceptions because of her perceived religion. I of course changed my tune when I found out that she was gay as well but before then, I really had no hopes for these two ending up together!

Having said that, Marian still had some ghosts from her beliefs because she was only interested in being with people who were serious about relationships! This is something that is alien to a girl like Jamie! Then again, this can be a belief for anyone not just you know what but like I said, I am sorry for judging the book by the cover!

Despite telling Marian that she was the type of person that needed people to say what they felt or wanted instead of expecting other to read their minds, Jamie surprised me when she did not need sticky notes to tell her what transpired during that basement party! She figured out that Marian had feelings for her and then surprisingly, she was the one that put in the effort to be someone that was fit to be with Marian!

Of course, she still went her own route because according to her, Marian really needed to get laid to get off some much-needed steam, but she changed, which if I was Marian myself, I would not be able to resist! Not that it would even stand a chance! Margaret is just so disturbingly hot!

Ahem!

So anyway, Jamie takes Marian to dinner, gets some champagne, asks her to a dance, something that is so out of character for her, but it did the trick because Marian approved, kissing her right there on the dance floor, and finally ending up in bed.

Now, while the sex scene was somewhat disappointing give the previous ones that we were shown, I was already given more than I expected from the movie and it being their first lovemaking, okay, it did not have to be so extreme! Besides, they followed it up with a shower sex scene the morning after, so I have no quarrels!

As for the hook line and sinker, they do indeed end up together, which was another mind-blowing moment because this movie, damn, it went beyond, far above and beyond my expectations!

There was also a line at the end when Marian’s aunt asks why they were going to a certain place, to which Jaime says that women can get married there! That made promises for their future where they were sure to tie the knot and spend the rest of their lives together!

I mean, we did not even need to get to that point for their future to be set in stone. Earlier on after meeting Matt Damon’s character (he is a senator and one of the five major players whose dingoes got made toys of, a toy that they two used in that shower! Anyway, it was an exchange for his thing, and the girls would be getting money.

The point is after the exchange, another Lady comes up to the pair and invites hem to another underground lesbian party. But this time Jamie refuses, after glancing at Marian, showing that she has grown out of that fuck whomever and wherever life and now she is getting serious, because Marian is into serious relationships.

For Jamie to turn down a lesbian orgy party is world-changing behaviour!

And at this rate I would be beating a dead horse when I mention how I love couples that affect one another and grow from when we first meet them at the beginning of the movie to when we leave them at the end.

Like, can we all agree that these two are the hottest couple of the year?! Like, damn! My after-life goals just got updated to finding a girlfriend as hot as Margaret or Geraldine!

Good Lord!

As for the movie itself, it is expertly made, looks great, the tone is just perfect and of course we have a happy ending of such a hot couple so what’s not to love!

Best get to it if you have not seen Drive Away Dykes Dolls!

Ja!