Gays going into 2022 like…

Yes, more gay content, and yes, it’s still January! If this is a sign of things to come, I really need to start an energy plan because I am going to need it to survive through 2022!

Ah sweet, sweet Vampire Princess Alisa von Vamalia, I mean Anastasia Martin, finally, you came to the right side of life! Seriously, I just so love her and wished with all my being for her Vampire Character in HEIRS OF THE NIGHT to be at least Bi but unfortunately, that dream got squashed and instead we got….No, this is not that conversation!

The conversation is that she has finally given us a gay character in a new Netflix series and I nearly lost my marbles!

When you finally get her number!

Same Anya, same!

I said same Anya!!!!

Before we commence and before you go wasting your data, I am obliged to let you know that this right here is a BAD END!

 

Nay, SHIT END!

Like, think of the worst ending a ship can have and then put this one of top! If you were watching the series just for this two, that is, then this is the worst possible end!

And since I have brought up that subject, let’s begin by getting it out of the way then if you are still interesting you can continue!

First this story of Anya and Faina (Anastasia Martin) has already been and gone! By that I mean that this particular story thread that includes Faina’s character was in the past and we see it only through adult Anya’s memories/flashbacks! Anya is all grown up and has a teen daughter so you can guess the rest!

To better shade more light on what’s going on let’s jump into the story of the series. It follows adult Anya who is seemingly a normal single Mom when suddenly she is raided by agents and it turns out that she was some retired spy…or is she?! And as she is forced to get back into the field, we get flashes of her past, a past in which we meet Faina who befriends/courts a young Anya, who was also a spy even back then! The gotcha of the series is that Anya is actually still a Russian spy who has been on a mission all this time but as usual, the big mission that brought her to the US will have to wait for the magical second season unfortunately, as that was the cliff hang ending of the series!

So, the first point is that Faina is already absolute because her story was in the past But wait, maybe she too was a spy and she might show up in the current timeline? I mean, Anya is single and even if she has a child there’s still a chance? Surely?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

I’m sorry, I’m so sorry!

Faina is dead!! D.E.A.D DEAD!

Not only is she dead, but she was killed by Anya herself! Anya killed her!!! Ah but wait, there is more! The funniest shit is that Faina literally had no reason, like, no reason at all to die! She was fast asleep when Anya went into her Dad’s room! The Dad’s kill was not that noisy too and Anya had managed to even get the guards off her back! But for some reason, for some unfathomable reason, out of nowhere here comes Faina, to find Anya next to her dead Father with blood on her!

So Faina flips out in her state understandably, but of all the other options she had guess what Anya chose to do? Oh, she did the most obvious thing – she knocked Faina unconscious and used the formula on herself so her body could transform and got out of the Embassy safe!

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.

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HUEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE!!!!!!

Ah, these jokes are killers! I should be a comedian!

*Crickets*

Fine, I get it! Calm down!

Anya only suffocated Faina to death as she tells her that she loves her!

No, I am not kidding! That is what the fuck actually happened! No, it was not by accident! She really killed Faina just like that, staring right into her eyes and spewing some bullshit about loving her!

The joke is that she did love Faina! The two really did love each other! At the very least they were three steps into the territory! Like, seriously, I haven’t seen this expertly written flirting scenes in so long!

Which brings me to the good parts about these two! Yes, believe it or not I ship these two despite the fate of their relationship. This is a spy story! No, not those feel-good spy stories but the real spy stories! The ones that have no good endings! Faina’s father was Anya’s first kill and while I don’t approve of any excuses she might have had to decide and kill Faina, I do understand that she was not in the right state of mind! Seriously you should have seen her, she was a wreak! By the time Faina got there and her reaction, Anya was in automatic mode!

That also brings me to the series in a whole in that I love it for its realism! It was brutal! The spy life is that un-forgiving! What I don’t forgive is the shitty writing of Faina’s fate!

And don’t get me started on the fact that in her last moments Faina absolutely hated Anya! Like, they had literally just made love! Faina was absolutely and completely in love with Anya! Her feelings at the time should have influenced her reaction! It’s not like she caught Anya in the act, on top of her Dad, her hands around his neck, or something! It was almost like they were strangers, who just only met once and said ‘Hi’ and went out for coffee that once!

Like, what a load of horse shite!

Back to our girls, like I said, they had some major flirting energy and believe me, you won’t forget it, no matter how horrible their ending! From the moment they met they were practically perfect! Even as you find out later that Faina was a part of Anya’s organization’s plan, it was so obvious that Anya was falling for Faina, hell, even her ‘handler’ knew it!

There was even an almost Dick character, who was friends with Faina, kind of, because Faina’s father was working for Guy’s family! Guy thought he was in a threesome relationship with Anya and Faina but instead he was what Faina was supposed to be, someone that Anya uses to get to the target of her mission. Instead, Anya even used Guy to get closer to Faina! Also, it was clear as day that Anya was hurting because she was using Faina!

Faina, what a lovely character! I wish she was a spy too. She would have made a badass spy! She was so cool, goddamn! Anya wishes she was a quarter as cool as Faina! The way she handled those three guys that were harassing them about being Lesbians!

Perfection!

But even that is nothing compared to that Window Scene! That scene is going to stay with me for a very long time! Not until another scene comes around that is unique and even remotely awesome! Seriously, I can’t get over it! The emotions on display, especially on Faina’s end! God! Literally can’t imagine not falling in love during that scene!

Not even the sex scene outdid it! It was that perfect! Yes, they did have a sex scene! And sadly, just adding to the pile of ‘No’s so far for 2022, no one damn stays in bed after sex anymore until their partner wakes up! Like what’s up with that!

No, think of happy thoughts B.G, think of lovely, lovely Faina in that window…

Heaven!

And the fact that Anya only dreamt of that moment on her life can be taken as it being a nightmare that will haunt her forever! She will never forget it! There definitely were more missions since then, she has basically built a whole different life and yet she still dreamt of that time with Faina!

Look, I totally get it if you hate this series! I do, but for me what I am taking away is the ship! I would read all the Fan Fic about Anya and Faina all day and night! I will think of them in my dreams! That scene between them when Faina gave Anya the greatest surprise I have ever seen on Television, through that window will never leave me!

Never!

The only time I will not think of it is when it is outdone! But to tell the truth, I ain’t seeing that happening anytime soon! Will Avatrice have a say about that? We shall see! I feel like I am putting a lot on Warrior Nun’s shoulders but goddamn, if they keep the pace of season one, Ava and Beatrice are about to give us the last supper!

What a start to the year!

Ja