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Seventeen [DE-Movie]

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Siebzehn AKA Seventeen

Have you ever heard of people being STUPIDLY IN LOVE? Or maybe you have heard of LOVE MAKES PEOPLE STUPID?

Well, I have but I never understood what they meant until now! Paula and Cherlotte, our girls here, are the stupidest people in love I have ever seen! I think I lost brain cells from just watching them and their stupid decisions that they make!

But before we get into all that, I just want to say that I have changed my mind!

Germany makes the worst endings ever!

 

 

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The thirst!!!

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The cock-blocking!

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The Triangle

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The Fools!

You see all those make-out scenes between Paula (bun) and Cherlotte (waves)? They are all not real! What are you talking about – you are shouting! Well dear Readers, all those make-out scenes between them are in their minds! They are delusions they have about each other! None of it happened!!

Yeah, I am as confused as you are!

But I did tell you these were the dumbest people in love! From just the few images I am sure you can surmise that they are totally in love with each other! It is true! The whole fuckin school knows it! They know it and no one is against gays here, hell, Lili (the straight blonde) makes it news every time she makes out with Paula! Lily also has a boyfriend by the way!

So, it’s not the prejudice or the unavailability that stops these two from making out! There’s literally nothing stopping Paula and Cherlotte from going steady! Cherlotte even finally breaks up with her boyfriend, the last thing standing in their way! But do they end up together?!

HAHAHAHAHAHA…………………………………………NO!

I AM NOT OKAY WITH THIS

Me throughout the whole movie!

I swear to you all, the Director and Writer of this movie deserve an award for managing to end this movie without Paula and Cherlotte being together, let alone making out even once!

I am still trying to figure out how they managed to do it! This is one for the Guinness World Book of  Records! Even at last, when they finally got the courage to touch and dance together, even then, when they were finally intimately touching with their noses, even then when I was screaming and fist pumping because finally, the moment is here, finally, it’s happening…They are literally a centimetre away from touching lips…

When the most accurate depiction of the phrase COCK-BLOCK happens! I swear to you, you have seen the caps above! They are literally a centimetre away when Cherlotte’s boyfriend comes in, wedges himself between the two, and kisses Cherlotte right there!

I kid you not, I SCREAMED!

And Cherlotte just let him do it, totally forgetting that Paula even existed! But by then I had seen so many stupid decisions from the two that I just sat back like…

Ippo-Im-okay-2

I mean, how could it get worse than that, right? Surely it couldn’t, not when there’s like, 15 minutes left…Surely not!

I was too naïve!

Right after that, Lili calls Paula up, who goes to her place and totally has sex with her! Like I said, Lili always shared her experiences with her besties and when she gets in class, everyone already knows! Her mates ask her how sex with Paula was, right in Cherlotte’s hearing range and when Paula comes in, all still sweaty from the greatest night of her life so far, probably, seeing as she already had sex with the Guy that had a crush on her, Cherlotte can’t handle it and runs away from class! Paula runs after her!

By this time, the night that Paula was having sex with Lili, Cherlotte had broken up with her boyfriend! So I can kind of understand her pain there and when Paula ran after her trying to explain how the sex meant nothing to her (nodding back to the beginning when Lili asked her if sex was about just sex or there was love involved, so I guess to Paula, sex with Lili (and the Guy) was just sex without love and it probably would have been about love with Cherlotte) but Cherlotte doesn’t hear none of it, even as Paula comes out with the truth that how Cherlotte is feeling is how Paula had been feeling all that time Cherlotte was with her boyfriend!

And while both were right, they are also both equally in the wrong! Despite knowing that Lili was just playing with her, even though she clearly had feelings for Paula but she was a closet lesbian who tried to come off as if she was only in it for the sex, Paula still made out with Lili not once, not twice, but three times!!!! And the third time?! After this very fight she had with Cherlotte!

Like, the insanity is off the charts with these fools!

They had so many chances to do something without interruption, but they messed up all the time and it was of their doing! The very first time Paula asked Cherlotte out to a gig, and instead of the two going together you know what they did? Cherlotte invited her boyfriend and Paula went with the mentioned Guy who had a crush on her!

Next, Cherlotte drives now so Paula asks her for a ride home in the rain. They totally have the moment! Hell, Cherlotte even fantasises about kissing Paula goodbye! They could have done it! No one had to know! But instead Cherlotte lets Paula just walk away!

Another is when Cherlotte is giving driving lessons to Paula! They are once again alone, just the two of them! And gain, instead of having a talk there or doing it for real, it is again back to delusions that Cherlotte has about making out with Paula!

Then there was the pub scene! They are at the bar ordering drinks! They have time for a moment! Paula has a fantasy of touching Cherlotte’s hand there instead of actually doing it for real!

Even in the absence of Paula Cherlotte still has delusions about her during sex! She literally imagined it was Paula going down on her instead of her boyfriend!

I tell you all, you will be breaking things watching these two through out this movie!

And oh, if you think that they actually had another talk and tried harder by the end of the movie, HAHAHA, joke’s on you, because even then, even then!!!!! Paula still makes out with Lili, who again was making fun of her!

Instead of looking for Cherlotte, calling her, fighting hard to explain things and getting the girl, Paula is off messing around again with Lili! Meanwhile, despite having broken up with him, Cherlotte is back stalking her Ex! We never see her try to go into his house but FFS, she was there!!! Yeah, she was crying her eyes out outside his home in her car but she was there!!!

Oh yeah, the movie ends there, just like that! No resolution whatsoever!

I tell ya, this movie is maddening!

And this isn’t the first shitty ending I have seen from Germany! There are many! Like, who ends movies like that!?!! Nothing! No tied threads! Look, I understand that at that age life is chaotic but we just don’t leave it like that!!!

Germany is good at portraying raw teenage life, seriously, they don’t give a fuck what you think, but they really need to work on those endings! The movies are still entertainment and someone getting invested into them only to come away with nothing more times than necessary is just not OK!

Oh well, I will settle for the delusions and the Lili scenes and really, we all have them delusions but only because we can’t have the ones we have them about! There was no excuse here!

Dumbest…Characters…Ever!

Ja

Author: Black Gekikara

Love, Eat and sleep Yuri Best Pal is DIVA (My PC) Hangouts is TEH INTERNETS Currently into Kashiwagi Yuki, Matsui Rena, Ogasawara Mayu, Miyawaki Sakura, Ji-yeon, NMB48 and sister groups, T-ara Totally love SG Horror movies

4 thoughts on “Seventeen [DE-Movie]

  1. I’ll never see this movie but at least you made me laugh.
    Thank you for sharing to prevent other people from tearing their hair out or falling into depression.

    With this, I return to Bly Manor.

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