百合 Goggles

Yukirin Is Love. Yuri Is Life!


[The Handmaiden] Round 2 Let’s go!

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I am an idiot!

I am a complete idiot for thinking for even a second that I was ready for this movie! I was a fool to think that just because there are no English subs, I would be able to handle The Handmaiden because since I would not understand a thing, I would be safe from all the extreme emotional bombs.

I couldn’t!

Last time I stopped at around the 40min mark. That was two days ago! Guess how much progress I have made since then?

4 minutes! 4 FRIKKIN MINUTES!!!!

And yes, I have watched something every day since then. The thing is that on every watch I begin from the very start of the movie once again. Despite that I can’t help pausing every damn second to catch the emotions and all the nuances of every scene. Catching what makes Sook-hee and Hideko tick. What attracts them to each other. How their feelings develop with every scene and trying to decipher how much time has passed!

Finally I made it to where I had left off but I was not ready! I know what is coming, I knew, everyone has spoiled me already, not that I mind, but despite knowing, I am scared for my life to go beyond this point!

Just those four precious minutes more to bring me to the 45min mark, have taken me hours to finally stop looping and pausing the damn movie just to soak in what is happening! The emotions on the display are out of this world! I still can’t believe I am looking at Kim Min-hee, playing Maud, in an adaptation of Fingersmith – my favourite book ever!

Kim Tae-ri too – Okay, this is just un-believable! There is no way that she is not an actress but rather a journalist student! There is no way The Handmaiden is her first film/major project in acting!

No way!

That young woman wore her emotions in her eyes so perfectly I finally understood the meaning – Eyes are the windows to one’s soul!

What perfect casting! Not just the casting, everything else about The Handmaiden is simply perfection! I am sorry BBC adaptation, even you original source material Fingersmith, but you both lose to this movie in terms of yuri! The only thing the book has over the movie is story structure/pacing/plot etc but it is a book which has the luxury of time and thus able to accomplish the mentioned.

For a movie to be able to do what The Handmaiden did – that is pure magic!

So, after today I am faced with the first sex scene challenge! It has been real difficult getting over just the kissing scene in these four minutes to today, how the hell am I going to survive the next scene?!

I guess it’s time to start writing my will. then time to go to the church and pray for enlightenment just in case I find myself at the gates of judgement!

Pray for me dearest Readers…



[The Handmaiden] DANGER! DANGER!!


I…Dear Readers, I…

Thank you to all who were kind enough and almost equally as excited as I am for this movie, to send me all those alerts, messages and comments letting me know that ‘The Handmaiden’ is out and about.

Yes, ‘The Handmaiden’. I don’t even care anymore what it is called! I don’t care that I have not even gone through 30% of the movie yet. Nothing matters anymore. ‘The Handmaiden’ is truly, finally, without a single doubt – My All Time Favourite Movie! I can say right now I doubt any movie shall ever exist to take its place! The only way this might be topped, is if Christopher Nolan, Park Chan-wook, The Pang Brothers and Takashi Miike all came together to make yet another adaptation of Fingersmith! That, is the only way another movie could ever hope to de-throne this movie!

And I have not yet gone past the 40min mark!

Dear Readers

It is now 7am here in Dublin. I started watching this movie at 3am in the night! It has taken me 4 freakin hours to get through 40mins of the 2h25min of heavenly goodness!

Then why am I wasting time writing this when I should be watching the rest of the movie?

Um, hello! Who do you think I am? A superhero? I am only human. How you expect me to get through this movie in one seating blows my mind! I have simply given up because my whole being cannot simply handle this movie! It has taken me 4 hours to watch 40mins of footage and my mind still cannot wrap itself around what the eyes have just seen, what my ears have just heard, what my feeling have just been bombarded with!

I just…I just can’t!

To whoever got to see this in the cinema, I commend you all. I bow down to your awesomeness because there is no way, there is no way I could have handled this in the cinema!


Oh my Lord!

What was I even writing about? Why did I post this? Oh yeah, to thank you all for looking out for me and updating me!

Obviously this is going to take me a week to finish. And by the way, this is not even the whole movie. This is the Theatrical Cut which is 145 minutes long. There will be a Director’s Cut with the Blurays/DVDs that is over 3 hours long!

Oh Jesus! I have to confront that one as well. A Director’s Cut of this movie? Are you like, kidding me?!

Yeah, I am warning anyone going into this movie blind – Tread very carefully!

Oh Jesus…


My Ten Commandments – Part 1

AKA My Top 10 Favourite Yuri Movies Of All Time!

I know a few have been waiting for this list since forever as I have gotten this question quite a lot, and I apologise but that is how hard it was for me to settle on this final verdict!

No, I have not seen Ahgassi/The Handmaiden yet but dear Lord my lovely Readers, I have seen things! Oh have I seen things! Let me tell you this now, Fingersmith is tame, way tame compared to The Handmaiden! If we are going by the yuri, if the book yuri is a 50/100 then the movie yuri is a solid 96/100!

I kid you not!

And so just I presumed would be the outcome, The Handmaiden is going to be my all time favourite movie and all this before I have even watched it! I have never waited for something so hard in my life.

This list is labelled Part 1 because I am planning on posting an in-depth post about this list, explaining each movie and why it is where it is on the list. The delay is of course that I am waiting for The Handmaiden to drop. So do look forward to a deeper post explaining the list.

For now, these are my Ten Commandments, as I like to call them!

But just to be clear, this is not my Top 10 Movies of All Time List! That list contains none yuri/subtext movies like A Tale of two Sisters, The Dark Knight, Martyrs etc…

Anyway, yeah, that is that…for now.


[Pics] Is This Even For Real?!

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Like, SRSly!!

dear Mayuki, please just announce that wedding date as that is all that we are waiting for at this rate! Like, are you even kidding me? You know, I really want to meet anyone who knows of AKB48 but doesn’t know who Mayuki are! I really need to meet them as no place is safe! Anywhere they go Mayuki always happens! I mean they do say home is where the heart is so it makes sense for Mayuki World to follow them wherever they go but still!

Even Utage, the one place I thought was safe from Mayuki as Mayuyu seemed to be taking her job there seriously, was not spared! I am of course talking about…


Of course now that I actually have another look, it does look like unlike the other times, this time it is Yukirin who starts things off.

And speaking of this episode, is it only I that always get a smile when Ai-chan and Yukirin perform in these dance battles on the same team? I just, I am this close to starting to ship them two I swear!

But while all is good, the actual reason for this post isn’t actually Mayuki but rather, the meaning of the day before yesterday! By that of course I mean the 15th of July – a very special day as it is my Goddess’ day on which she came into being – Her Birthday! I am ashamed that I did not get to post this on that day but better late than never, right?

Before I go farther, I wish to say to all Yukirinians out there that I hope you are proud to bee a fan and if you are not, you should be! Despite everything Yukirin has reserved her spot in the history of AKB48! Sure it is not being one of the SSK Centres, or any other Centre but really, there are many of those!

What is even more important is that this memory she has created belongs to the people matter more and thus makes the achievement itself that much more important and these are the members themselves I am talking about. Yukirin has garnered so much love from the members that no other Senpai comes even close! I already said it but I will touch upon it again but whoever comes into contact with her, whoever she works with on a project or performs a stage with, those members are always usually affected by and see Yukirin differently.

This was from Shiichan herself if you think I am making it up but even then one is only selecting to ignore the evidence. I am not sure how many follow members’ lives but Yukirin is one of those members that new girls rarely look up to. After time passes, when they meet her then it starts. Think of all the Kashiwagi children (what we call members who Idolise Yukirin) – almost 70% of them did not have her as their Idol in the beginning. And yet now…

And I am going in circles, let’s take a step back in time on Friday. I think I posted last year’s over-whelming number of messages from members to Yukirin on her but if you thought that was a lot, well, try multiplying that by a factor of > 7!! NMB girls, who haven’t seen Yukirin, haven’t performed with her in two or more years, all sent Yukirin heart-warming messages. Girls from Team Bs of old from other sister groups all sent her messages. graduated members sent her messages. Poor NGT girls, who had the luck of being put with Yukirin from the get go, well, I am pretty sure the effects are plain as day! And all to these messages…

Yukirin wrote a personalised reply!!

Like, how can that not make you proud!! Oh yes, if more proof is needed, in the Documentary Book there were various Questionnaires for the members and Yukirin, by almost 40% of the votes, was the most respected member in the 48G by the other members!

We fans are only outside the lass not even looking inside but rather seeing only what is put on display. These members are in the inside. They go through the same everyday life like Yukirin does. They know what goes on in there than we will ever even wish to comprehend. I only recently got this through my thick skull because before I was actually letting what other people said about Yukirin affect me but these days, I see how meaningless those words were, how weightless.

No other member/Kami has touched so many members as Yukirin has. Be it her Kouhai or her own Senpai, everyone treats Yukirin like she was their comrade. There is no distance at all between her and the others.

The only distance that I see and feel is between Management and herself. Not Shinobu though, Shinobu is cool! And that makes me come off as being triggered but I won’t deny that conclusion!

There is more reasons to be proud of Yukirin but I am saving those for the relevant posts to come. For now don’t be brought down by the fact that Yukirin might graduate without ever dominating SSK or solo Centring an AKB single! The latter should have happened by now but I think it is safe to assume that will never happen. Hell, I can see Management approving the Mayuki graduation only because they can deny Yukirin that solo Centre!

But it doesn’t matter! Yukirin doesn’t have to be No.1! Maybe she has to if it means something special to herself but not to us, not to the members! She has already touched us. We will never forget her! The members already know her, see her for what she is and what she is capable of. So be proud!

Be proud.

Be proud to be a Yukirin Fan!

And I am done. Sorry for the rumbling. Jump ahead for the pics (Most of which are from this Friday by the members)…

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In 7 Days…

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Let the contamination through saliva begin!

The last week of July is going to be something else! We have this series to look forward to. We have Majisuka Play starting on the 25th. And from un-disclosable sources, my life might just come to an end on the 27th! Something life-changing is coming my way on that day! Hint? one word – KIM.

Any who back to CROW’S BLOOD…

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