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[I cant believe it aint yuri] Barely Lethal

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Did I mention this movie somewhere here? I am pretty sure I mention it before. Anyway this is a movie about a girl trained to be an Assassin since she was a baby by the one and only Samuel L Jackson and has a Senpai as cool as Jessica Alba Parker! When the girl (Megan) is sent on a mission to bring in the rogue Senpai No.1 (Jessica AKA Victoria) she is lost in action to save herself from being killed by No.1. Having had a dream of living a normal life, she uses the opportunity to disappear so she can live her dream.

From the trailer I had great expectations for this movie! First of all it had vibes of those teen movies like Bring It On (Which was referenced in the movie as Megan did research on what college girls do) so I wished for some great chemistry between Megan and someone else! I did get my wish.

And that is the problem

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You know, I can just imagine the Story-writer and the director having a heated conversation about this movie. Someone wanted to have Megan and Liz to be the ENDGAME but someone else was like, nope, the world doesn’t like this kind of stuff in a teen flick like this! Months later Murica legalized same-sex marriage and that someone got a huge letter of ‘I told you so’s!

The romance in this movie was so generic it was dumb!

Who here has not seen a movie where a girl is caught between two guys; the cool guy that is either in a band or a football player and the less cool guy but nice guy that tend to be friends with the girl but with higher expectations of their relationship? Who hasn’t seen this done before?!! Well, that is what happened here! It’s like someone was worried this movie would bomb and thus did not think of going too close to the limit! Seriously? With Samuel L Jackson and Jessica Alba Parker playing the Bad Guy?! Are you kidding!?!

The romance was only the part of the problem though. The chemistry I mentioned made everything worse! I do not mean that the chemistry itself was bad, in fact it is the exact opposite! Forget Missy and Torrance, those tow had nothing on Megan and Liz here! Liz is the daughter of the family that Megan lives with in her search for a normal life. They are the same age, are in the same class and just like clock-work, they don’t start out on common ground.

The relationship between these two was so good it brought to question why any other was necessary in this movie! Seriously, the movie would not have lost a thing if Liz and Megan were the only focus as far as relationships are concerned! We already had the rival story with Heather, a fellow assassin girl that was always bested by Megan. We had a great villain in Victoria and yet those two instead of getting fleshed out more their time was cut so short in favor of the generic romance bull that they made no sense to the story. These two that were supposed to be villain just showed up like two times (I the second half) and it was brief an appearance it was a joke!

It’s like the people in charge lost track of what they wanted to do. You will never find a waste of talent like you will here. But to me the biggest waste had to be Liz and Megan! Even a child could have shipped the two over any other romantic couple options! Hell, even the writer and Director had to have been behind the Megan/Liz flag! Take a loot at these gifs….

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That’s Megan when drugged out of her mind!
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That’s Liz drunk out of her mind!

Meanwhile any other time they were both sober in control, they were all over the guys! Like, what does that tell you? To me it says that unconsciously (deep down in their hearts) they want one another! The only time Megan cried in the movie was when she thought of leaving Liz (and her family) not when she figured out her true feelings for Nice Boy over Cool Boy or finding out Cool Boy was not what she initially thought of him as. Similarly Liz showed cried because of the same reason and the way she was telling Megan that you don’t protect people by leaving them, you hurt them the most instead, had to be the best moment in the damn movie!

These two had those moments that were put there for a reason because the director made the cuts long as if they wanted us to see them. Like those gifs above and these caps below! These two were obviously the ship of the movie but alas, studios still think the world in not ready in this day and age!

Those looks, those touches they share, those smiles! I expect to see this kind of thing in a Nickelodeon movie not these days not in a movie like this one! Hell, even Nickelodeon is starting to diss the generic romance as I saw in ‘Grace Stirs Up Success’ and in another movie I can’t remember the title of about a girl that learns to play chess and learns about what to do with her life along the way using the chess methodology. These two did not have romance, or crushes like those older Nick movies. Instead they focus more on friendship and you know me, I will take friendship over romance any day, especially when it comes to subtext!

Liz and Megan were so meant for each another and I can totally see them realizing this as time passes because if their relationship is going to keep developing at the pace it did in the, well, may Lord save them! I can’t see Liz’s relationship lasting at all and no one ever ends up with the friend turned boyfriend so Megan’s relationship is also questionable. But this is all my view. Doesn’t change the fact that Liz and Megan were great!

Hollywood, you are still behind get with the times! Even with scattered gems like ‘The Runaways’ or ‘Jack & Diane’ you are still stepping on glass. Sure you dominate in porn but that is a whole different ball-game. These days porn is all about fetishes and Asia and Europe beats you too in that regard! I just hope you don’t start re-making the Korean Teen Horror series because I don’t want you turning our favourite characters straight!

Anyway that’s that. Did anyone get a chance to see this yet? Do let me know what you thought. I sometimes fear my goggles are super charged!

Author: Black Gekikara

Love, Eat and sleep Yuri Best Pal is DIVA (My PC) Hangouts is TEH INTERNETS Currently into Kashiwagi Yuki, Matsui Rena, Ogasawara Mayu, Miyawaki Sakura, Ji-yeon, NMB48 and sister groups, T-ara Totally love SG Horror movies

2 thoughts on “[I cant believe it aint yuri] Barely Lethal

  1. I’m so with you on this!! I watched barely lethal like 10 times and every time i see the stupid romance they added..i want to scream! That’s why i started a fanfic about Liz and Megan :3 they’re just so cute and funny together! Come on i ship this so hard! Meliz? Lizan? Megiz? Lizgan? Whatever you name it!!

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