百合 Goggles

Yukirin Is Love. Yuri Is Life!

In tears…That’s how I started the year!


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Yes, go on and say it. I know you want to! Tell me how foolish I was, watching this right as I went into the New Year! Go on and say it! It’s not my fault that I did not realise that I had a major crush on Akimoto Sayaka until this frikkin concert! Which BTW made this way more soul crushing than even Acchan’s graduation was! Acchan was one of my Top 10 AKB girls and when I cried more on Sayaka’s graduation than I did Acchan’s there is just something quite not right! Turns out I loved Sayaka more than I even ever realised! And that realisation came far too late!

I cried so hard yet I did not even want to leave the room to go get tissues so I was all soaked through with tears when the concert ended! Everything was really perfect on this day. That ultimate touch of the other graduated 2nd Gen members coming to the concert! God! It was the Angels themselves coming down to escort Sayaka’s soul onto the highest plane of existence! And that song! That lovely song that Yasusu, that nice Dude Yasusu, went of his way to write especially for Sayaka! What a perfect song! Then the fans, even though I was like Yuko, being pissed at them for deciding to now show their love for Sayaka, it was really moving seeing only green envelope the whole Dome!

Then there is Yuko.

30% of my FEELS during this watching was because of her! If anyone did not get a heavy feeling in their throat while watching this and seeing Yuko, you are emotionless monsters you hear me? Emotionless monsters!!!!

Oh My God Yuko! It was like I could totally see the moment when she finally gave up and went “FUCK THIS, I’M SO DONE WITH THIS SHIT”! I swear toy you all, forgive me Yuko fans, all you Yuko fans out there, forgive me when I say that I would have actually jumped up in rejoicing tears if Yuko had up and quit right at that moment!


Ahem, forgive me but I am totally un-stable right now! And to make matters worse, When I was watching this yesternight, I did not get the caps. I had reinstalled my player and forgot to reset the capture settings so I had to fuckin watch it again today to get the caps and guess what!?! My face is all fuckin wet again!

But that was not the fuckin worst! Having calmed my tits enough to browse tumblr to father calm down, U go and see the news of Yuko announcing her graduation during Utagassen I believe? I swear my soul kind of died in that moment! Having gotten off the high of wanting Yuko to up and leave then minutes later seeing her graduation announcement…yeah…

I know this practically happened in 2013 but I can’t help but blame 2014! How can I be happy when I started the year in fuckin tears! And not the good kind either! And of course with these things, comes garbage along with it, like memories related to the same subject and so I was reminded of that conversation Yuko and Takamina had in a certain AKB48 SHOW episode about graduations and the FEELS fuckin happened all over again, realising how hurting, really hurting Yuko was! I swear I ma really surprised she waited this long to fuckin up and leave!

It’s safe to say that Team K is officially fucked now, right? Well then, brace yourselves for Team Shuffles this year lads. You heard it first from yours truly BG!

Fuck all these graduations, man, fuck em!

Thank the good Lord it seems like at 25 is when we can expect normal graduations. Which means MayuYukirin still have 3 years! I don’t think I can survive Yukrin’s Graduation and Mayuyu inevitable complete break-down! We can all agree that that will be the most FEEL-inducing graduation to ever grace the face of the earth! It’s sadistic but I am looking forward to it happening! I am sure it will be one for the records. If Yukirin is the one to graduate, I am sure Mayuyu will do something to remember! I don’t know what but shit will go down.

Anyway going back to Tokyo Dome, the surprise of the night was none other than Sae! I was actually expecting her to cry the hardest but pretty correct me if I am wrong but she did not shed a single tear, did she? I don’t know, maybe she turned her emotions off for the night or was so far gone she forgot how to cry or maybe she is just that strong hearted which really puts her at the top of my respect ladder! How could she have not cried that night!? She had to be the closest member to Sayaka, as far as I am aware so…You know what? I am so done with this post…

fuck this[3]


Author: Black Gekikara

Love, Eat and sleep Yuri Hail Yukirin, Batman and Zack Snyder Long Live Horror

14 thoughts on “In tears…That’s how I started the year!

  1. I have to be honest and say that I’m not the biggest Yuko fan in the World but it was a pretty emotional moment for me because whatever you feel about the girl her leaving is THAT DARN BIG that feels needed to be felt!!!

    But also there is something exciting in an AKB future without Yuko, she is so…… dominating withing AKB that her leaving really does open the door (perhaps even floodgates) for things to get changed up and really looking at AKB past Yuko is interesting, even exciting.. Also as a Yukirin Oshi I can’t help but think that when Yuko graduates Yuki theoretically becomes the number 2 girl in AKB and Mayu would be the 1st….. yeah we can all guess where my brain is taking me (surely you can give them one AKB single dammit!!!!) This is of course thinking that Yuki will be ever put in, well her rightful place which, let’s be honest, is doubtful but maybe with Yuko graduating Aki-P might be that little bit nicer to Yuki, you never know……

    And like BlackGeki I too have a dread fascination over Yuki’s graduation concert, like it’s going to be so heart breaking but yet so awesome at the same time….

    Sayaka again is not one of my faves but her leaving too is sad, have to hand it to her, she always seemed to do something to make me smile or laugh, I really will miss her charm in the group, in fact I kinda already am…..

    • Well, Sou-chan said it best – There is no other like Sayaka in AKB, and I doubt there will ever be. I feel like she is the first one to leave her own foot print in the group. There will just never be another Sayaka. She was unique, which I feel is a very big achievement in a group this big.

      As for Mayuki, I trying trying to stay away from the predicaments of Senbatsu now that she is gone but since you touched upon it, I might as well…

      MayuYukirin jidai is heeeeeeeeeeeeeeere!!!! Fuck New Gen, this is the New chapter right here! Acchan/Yuko were the first Chapter now we enter the 2nd chapter of MayuYukirin love/rivalry. I feel like Yukirin respected her Senpais too much to push herself but now that Acchan and Yuko are gone, now that it is Mayuyu and Kouhai Sasshi in the way, time is up! no more games! We are going to start seeing serious Yukirin in AKB like we do in her solo concerts. Shit is going down Willmark!

      And if Yukirin puts on her game face, I really doubt Mayuyu has a has a chance! We are safe for three years. Three years of awesome MayuYukirin (if only Sasshi would just fuckin keep to the rules and stay in HKT!!! Fuck) leading singles!

      Come now my Goddess, the time to reap is nigh, don’t let this chance go. If you stagger, there is the JURINA and her Yasusu love trailing you like a shadow!

      • It’s hard to see a more compelling story than a MaYuki rivalry for a center battle, I mean compared to the two great forces of Acchan and Yuko it’s the two great friends, the mother and daughter, master and apprentice going against each other, I mean surely this is a story that writes itself, hell it’s already written itself!!! Even if you are forced to add Sash into the mix it’s still some great old Team B story!!!

        Will it happen though, well, that’s another thing……

  2. Mayuyu never shows ANY sign of emotion at any graduations, I will be shocked and delighted if she looks even the slightest bit sad during Yukirin’s.

    • Why would you be shocked? she was bawling her eyes out just from their being separated into different teams. Just imagine Yukirin actually leaving the group all together!

      Oh, she will show something alight!

  3. I’m not shocked at Yuko’s graduation announcement itself, but the timing, so Yuko to do that! As I said many times Yuko is a part of my AKB Trinity. Of course now defunct…

    Yukirin is going to leave AKB48 (2013 signals it will be) rather soon. I reckon by year’s end or early 2015 — fingers crossed my prognostics is way off! — just read and see her speech at the Sousenkyo; now with the second generation almost but gone. It seems she is rather in line to exit. If AKB stirs well after Yuko, she’s going to graduate rather quickly.

    I might be biased — definitely am — but Yukirin is the last lock for the ‘new generations’ to break free. Few members have such a stable environment outside AKB48 as her, and I bet Akimoto-sensei has something rather big planned for Yukirin. With Acchan and Yuko gone, Yukirin is going to carry a heavier weight alongside Takamina. Mayuyu isn’t a leadership figure nor is Nyan nyan.

    But not for long, being realistic, the world outside longs for Yukirin to go fully solo. She’s the type of entertainer that you can always call for if you want to have a blast! Her graduation will be similar in magnitude to Yuko and Acchan’s. But all this thoughts could be due to Yuko’s graduation announcement making my brain malfunction, or the effect my New Year’s fungi… (That was a bad joke about the fungus…(。☉౪ ⊙。)(。☉౪ ⊙。)(。☉౪ ⊙。)(。☉౪ ⊙。)


    • Please no jinxing!

      Yukirin has yet to put her stamp on AKB48 and besdies, 1and2nd Gen are far apart from 3rd-5th Gen members. There needs to be a cool-down gap between the first two Gens graduating and then the next rounds.

      Yesh, I am aware that Yukirin has a thread in outside work were she to graduate but I feel like she has yet to have her moment in AKB. As soon as I see it, her signature on AKB that will see her remembered within AKB then I am all for graduation. I still feel she has yet to establish herself but the opportunity is nigh. Once she brings something to AKB that will have her remembered within the group, then I am all for graduations. But for now…


      • To Both Shiro and BlackGeki:

        I would say that Yuki is a very different lock compared to some others, she is more a lock that holds it all together rather than holding anyone back she is a bit like Takamina in that respect, she holds the team together rather than leading from the front. This has meant however that she has not had her “chance” in AKB, sure she is the biggest soloist in AKB but when it comes to the group she has been passed over for others mainly thanks to her being content in her role (and the fact that she can actually harmonize and thus causes problems if she sings as a solo lead)

        I agree with BlackGeki, I hope she has THAT moment for herself in AKB before she graduates…….

      • I am not jinxing, just expressing a plausible scenario. Though sure, it would be a million times better if she too centre stage in AKB48, but considering her record with AKB she has already set a mark. Then again centre spot could be the perfect fruit on the icing.

        But, leaving selfish desires and hopes aside, the scene I mentioned seems for fitting to the current reality. As I said I hope my predictions are mistaken. Either way, the final word is up to her and AkiP. She’ll probably stick for the sousenkyo after that, I don’t know.

  4. I’m just so dying to watch this… I just didn’t find it fully yet ;.;

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